THE BOARD MEETING

After 59 hours of work and 13 hours of sleep, Joe was ready for his presentation. He had created two working prototypes in that time. Since he had used up all of his supplies and throwing in the fact that the delivery truck wouldn't be coming for at least another month, Joe decided that there was only one reliable option. Instead of showing the world leaders, including the Emperor of Japan, a test of his creation in Nevada, like originally planned, they would just use the two bombs on islands controlled by Japan. There were two reasons for this decision. First, it would take more than a month to create another working model, as cited above. Second, what if it didn't work, it just went "Poof"? All the leaders would laugh in the USA's face, Joe's career would've ended, and Einstein would have lost his great reputation as the most brilliant man alive.

So it was decided then, Joe would tell them that his creation would work much more effectively and the United States would not be thought of as a cruel country for the next dozen decades. Unfortunately, they would have to test it during battle.

Ted presented his solution first. He brought out one small pressurized can and set it on top of the table in front of the committee members. "This, will revolutionize the current weapons of the world," Ted started out, "Once this can is opened, the person will peer inside and see what appears to be freshly preserved ham. They will inhale the great aroma and instantly pull out a spoon and start shoveling in this terrific product.

"To get the Japanese to open the can is the trick. We think we've come up with a viable solution. First, we will fly 484 B-29 bombers completely filled with the a... "ham"...and we then drop all of it over the main land of Japan. We make sure there are no leaks in our blockades as to make sure no other "food" gets to the Japanese. Eventually the people of Japan will become curious as to what is in the cans, they'll open it, and as I stated earlier, will instantaneously eat all of the um... "ham". Now," he went on, "this eh...."ham" is covered in a well-made gelatin. This is no ordinary gelatin, for it is very poisonous and exactly 43 seconds after digested, it will make the person seem as if he had just had a heart attack. In fact, their heart did just blow up. This was to make sure they couldn't be saved by a doctor, but mainly we did it just for effect. It is also the best preservative known to man."

"How do you know they won't just wash the gelatin off?" asked one of the board members.

"Well, think of it, this is the Japanese we're talkin' about. They're the ones who volunteer to be kamikazes. They commit suicide by crashing into ships. I mean, how stupid can a leading civilization be?" replied Ted.

"All right, this does seem to be a good way to take care of the Japanese, but I want you to test this. Try it on about twenty people walking down the street in downtown DC. After the results we'll know if it is possible that the Japanese won't be able to resist it. You will have to take out the poisonous gelatin, of course," spoke the head of the well-established committee.

"Of course," said Ted as if there were no other way to do it, even though he secretly wanted to try out the gelatin on human specimen.

"We will, however, let you test the gelatin on 12 guinea pigs in a controlled lab environment."

"Oh thank you sir," retorted Ted rather sarcastically.

"Even though, I'm sure Ted's eh...."ham" will work perfectly, we still should hear your report Joe. Mainly just because you spent so much time on it," uttered the only female member of the board.

"Well," Joe started off rather nervously, especially after Ted's great speech, "I, with the hard work of many other Americans, including the profound Albert Einstein, have created the most powerful bomb ever witnessed by a human being. I have created two such bombs, both in working condition. The problem is, no one knows if the bomb will work.

"If it does, a huge cloud in the shape of a mushroom, I would imagine, will destroy everything in about a 75 mile radius. I say we drop them on a couple of remote islands that are controlled by the Japanese. If they don't work, not to many will know. If it does work, then no one, and I repeat no one, will ever know just what completely tore their body into shreds in 2.5 milliseconds. I know it is not as harsh as the eh, um..."ham", but it will be effective enough."

"Well, we'll keep it in mind Joe, but don't get your hopes up because Ted's idea is almost a sure lock."